Last week in our English classes, the day we had all (read: nerds and other similar species) been waiting for ever since we signed up for our first IB class way back in sophomore year, had finally arrived.

Skyline’s top ranked student has proven elusive, but is no match for this sleuth’s skills.
On Friday, October 3rd, we would finally know who was leading the race for valedictorian, and who was hot in their pursuit. With several very competitive candidates, the race appeared very tight, and would have been difficult for even Vegas odds-makers to handicap. Couple the myriad of front runners with Skyline’s new policy of weighting students’ class rank grade point averages for each IB (International Baccalaureate) class they took, and those interested in the standings could only seek solace in rampant speculation and crude calculations.
By first lunch, many of us thought we had the situation figured out, as spots three through six had revealed themselves in Dr. Walters’ rigorous third period IB English 12 class. At lunch, a consensus was reached that number one must be Audrey Harker due to her exceptional gpa and the IB courses she took during sophomore year.
However, fifth period, when everyone figured Audrey’s position as the leader would be cemented when she received her transcript in Walters’ class, all hell broke loose upon the news that Audrey was second. Immediately, students unleashed an electromagnetic assault upon the halls of Skyline High School, sending texts to any set of ten numbers that caught their eye.
By sixth period, chaos and confusion took center stage, sending any attempt at productivity reeling back into the annals of Diplomacy and its brethren. Everyone knew the news, but no one knew the truth. How could almost any student even vaguely interested be able to hear who was ranked two through twenty, yet not even the most astute could discover the student who rose above all others?
Of course, when faced with the unknown, the senior class of 2009 tapped into what has become an intrinsic skill necessary to survival in high school life- speculation and gossip.
Putting to good use the critical reading and analysis techniques that had been force fed to them for as long as they can remember, seniors ravenously devoured all the information within their sights, only committing to memory what they thought useful, and then passing it on to the next voracious student, with their own spin included free of charge.
A full week later, nothing has changed except for the fervor by which the information is sought. We still do not know who is currently at the top of our class, and despite the logic that would lead one to believe that the picture would become more clear with time due to process of elimination (as t —> infinite, if you will), conventional reason has proved to be invalid in this case.
Since no one has emerged as the confirmed number one, there is also a faction of students, myself included, still maintaining the belief that it was all a mistake, meaning that Audrey would actually be the current leader, with everyone else’s rank being one higher than was reported last week. However, it must be noted that this too, is pure speculation, founded on nothing more than the uncertain status of our class’s numero uno.
Although Skyline’s top students of 2009 are currently mired in uncertainty regarding the status of the leader, in reality, this is only a minor inconvenience. Come June, there is no doubt that there will be a single valedictorian, and given the close quarters the top ten students currently share, there is no guarantee that the positions are as rigid as previously thought. On the contrary, as the pressures of senior year compound, and the tensions heat up, expect the rankings to become more fluid than ever.


Comments
This is a little bit over the top. Yeah, I was curious at first, too, but I think you should let it go. It’s not that big of a deal. If I were number one, I don’t think I’d want to tell anyone, either. Everyone gets too crazy and obsessed with it. Not to mention — grades will change between now and the end of third quarter, so nothing is set in stone right now.
I have to agree… if numero uno wanted everyone to know (which they probably would after working so hard) they would have told someone. Besides, grades are taken at THIRD quarter.
I think we’ve let it go by now — partially because of time and partially because of exhaustion. We still don’t know, though I think we’re all exhausted and have no leads. All of our hints have led to nothing, and as of now, the number one doesn’t exist.
Haha this was funny to read, but I agree that it blows it up a bit. I think the first day and Monday we were all into it, but whatever, now. Whoever gets first, second, etc. all still did a damn good job. And… it will change. Because I don’t understand anything in TOK.
Buh hahaha you fools! Foiled again!
Laura Bull is number one unweighted but I still don’t know who the weighted valedictorian is. Im curious and I liked your article Jeffrey. Nice work.
There are several peopled tied at the top for first unweighted, and I know of at least two others in addition to Laura. This is one of the reasons why the school decided to use a weighted GPA for class rank. I’d be interested to know if it is now district policy (ie Issaquah students getting a bump for AP classes in their class rank), or one that just Skyline has implemented.
Also Sam, you’ll move up, but make sure you get below 41, otherwise you’ll be in the 10.1th percentile :(
Issaquah doesn’t weight their GPA’s and its pretty lame. But, besides that, you guys need to chill. Being valedictorian, in my perspective, is far more of a burden than blessing. Its unhealthy. These are the students who didn’t LIVE during high school. So focused on points, tests, scores, and homework, they forgot how to enjoy being a teenager, being a high school student, engaging in the community around them: going to football games, pranks in the parking lot, Senior Skip Day, and more. Whomever claims the title of Valedictorian at the end of the year, I hope they are happy, because high school are years that he or she will never get back.
I honestly do not think this matters all that much. I personally hate the idea of Class Rankings. Just because someone is number one, doesn’t mean they are better than all 400 and some odd seniors in our class. It’s just ridiculous.