In this biweekly article we will discuss the epitome of bad, uninteresting local news pieces from the Issaquah area. Such papers that will be critiqued in this set of articles are The Issaquah Press and The Sammamish Reporter, though we will not limit the selections to being from the stated publications.

“Sammamish 11-12 softball takes second at state tourney”
(The Issaquah Press - July 23, 2008)

This seems like a respectable news story, it covers a local team’s rise to the state tournament in which they placed second in (obviously). The problem? There are two. First off, this story, regardless of how well the team performed, is not lead-caliber. There are always better things going on than softball, especially at the middle school level. And what’s worse? The paper’s story covering Skyline’s NFL seven-on-seven victory is the number two (or possibly three) story. Now that doesn’t seem right, does it?

“Sammamish moves artwork to protect it from vandalism”
(The Sammamish Reporter - July 11, 2008)

One of the key tenets to dissuading people from doing something more often is in fact to not mention it at all. This article does the opposite. Sure the likely vandals of the Sammamish Commons artwork are punk tweens who don’t read the newspaper, but please — the more publicity this gets, the more likely it is to be vandalised once again.

Not only is the basis for the article ironic in that they are giving the location of the formerly targeted item, but the move itself is completely naive as well. I seriously doubt the perpetrators of this are acting under the bright midday sky. They are doing this at night, like any good criminal would. And a move to take something from an isolated place, to a more-isolated place might not do the trick. Just because it is closer to city hall does not mean that the vandals will be caught more easily. Nothing can fool the guise of night.

“King County health board requires new restrictions on septic tanks”
(The Issaquah Press - July 23, 2008)

This is one of my favorite articles because the writer even says that the new policies, “have a fairly minimal impact on Issaquah residents, who are mostly connected to sewage systems already in place.” Maybe that is why it is placed in A6, the last page of the section, and is condensed to about one-eighth of the page.

But it makes me think: what else could be written about on A6? If Skyline changes the name of mexi-fries to tater tots, that would be a perfect place. Or what about if the Front Street Market only earns 98% of last week’s profits again this week. Both affect a minimal amount of people, and are perfect to be in A6.

I’ll keep my eye out and send something in to them.

“Seahawks burning questions: offense”
(The Bellevue Reporter - July 23, 2008)

Whenever I have a question about the Seahawks, or am looking for a little insight, I go to the Bellevue Reporter’s Joel Willits. While the other news sites (ESPN, Seattle Times) and their qualified writers are ignoring the pending football season, the local news is not, and Willits knows exactly the questions the team needs to answer.

Then again - so does everybody else who has watched a lick of Seahawks’ football.

Willits asks the burning questions on offense. Particularly, how they are going to move the ball and how they are going to score. While a good analyst would question how well the offensive line will mesh with a brand new guard and a move from left to right, Willits covers the offseason moves, and leaves the reader to think about it. The only problem is: he doesn’t give an answer, or at least an educated guess.

Shouldn’t he?

Then again, he is the ONLY one talking Seahawks football right about now.